2005-11-30

Friends

This is about my idea about friendship... I was reading an e-mail from a friend and I decided to write back, since it seemed to me such a bad text! It was talking about friends in the wrong direction.

Just less than an hour ago I got to read and reply the e-mail with the following...


I want to add a few words of my own, if you will...

First an introduction. 2 paragraphs explaining why I'm replying to this text. Basically, the only good thing I could see in there was the last sentence... "Smile back to smile-less".

That text seems to be based in the so called "successful people". After that it gets a lot of popular sayings, old sayings, trying to reinforce the basic: "this is what successful people do". It does start telling you "be careful with your friends", but the only reason is about those "successful". Now, the way it's put, it seems to me
that "successful" is that person who have money. Who achieved a million dollars OR maybe that person who won some kind of prize.

I doubt whoever wrote the text was thinking about "successful" as someone who lived one's life without any worrying (stress) about what other people think about one. I highly doubt the "success" intended in that text was to talk about someone who died with a smile in the face, happy with the lost life, be it at 20 years old or 80 years, because hat person lived the life as good as possible and know it. Deceptions, pain, anything could have happened in that person life, but nothing that would affect the whole picture of one's life. That, to me is being successful in life. Dying without anything to regard in life. Of course, that's Utopian. I doubt it about the text because, if that was the case, the text would necessarily be different. Some text with that definition could not, ever, say something like "the more you associate with someone, the more your life will be miserable".

Friends are, to me, as important as breathing. Of course you have to be careful with about everything in your life, and nobody is perfect. We'll always be able to find flaws in any of your friends. If we get to read this text in a weak moment, in a big fight, we might grew some bad feelings for a 20 year old friendship. We might let ourselves believe there is no such thing as love. I believe we couldn't be more wrong.

To me friendship is one kind of love that is capable of never fading off in a life time. And over it. I believe a person can have a full hand of real friends, not any more. Because real friends are the ones we spend time with and build a "trust hold ring" that seems unbreakable. The more it stays, the longer it gets without anything trying to break it, the stronger the friendship become, and it can only grow more and more. A lifetime of hundred years can't cover much more than ten real, good, best friends. It might not find even one, because a friendship depends on two people wanting that to happen. If we don't want it, it will never exist to us.

To me, friendship is stronger than a "marriage" kind of love, because it doesn't depend on children, sex, government, money or any other possession. I'm not saying men and women can't be friends, but I do wonder why we struggle so much about male+female friendship. Friendship doesn't depend on gender, country, skin... And it can go beyond human-kind as well. It only depends on two life-beings wanting and slowly getting together. Having something in common. Building a relationship with limitless potential of growing.

So, let's be careful with our friends, with our life. But let's not be way too careful as we risk to see our life goes by and never have enjoyed it.


--
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cacumer


On 11/28/05, Ribas, Erika (CS) wrote:
>
>
> The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you
> closely associate - for the good and the bad.
>
> The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve.
> Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity.
>
> An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with
> negative thinking and negative people. As you grow, your associates will
> change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you
> to stay where they are.
>
> - It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In the Wrong Company
>
> - Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.
>
> - If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but, if you associate
> with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.
>
> - A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the
> kind of friends he chooses.
>
> - Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl.
>
> - Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream.
>
> - Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you.
>
> - Never receive counsel from unproductive people.
>
> - Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the
> solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to
> tell you how.
>
> - Not everyone has a right to speak into your life.
>
> - You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas
> with the wrong person.
>
> - Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere.
>
> - With some people you spend an evening - with others you invest it.
>
> - Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of
> life.
>
> - Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships.


-- cacumer@gmail.com